Because I can XD
So, I'm back in college again, but as a GRAD student this time (HOLY CRAP I'M A GRAD STUDENT WAAAA). I had this intense 1-week course about problems within education, and THAT WAS INTENSE. Like, I never need to nap, but I did pretty much every other day after I came back from school (at like, 5pm, because school goes from 9am-4pm, and it takes an hour to get to and from there).
And now we're all out doing our field orientation (going to schools and observe, conduct interviews, do a big project for it, and so on) for 8 days, and we're over half way done! It's interesting to go back to your own high school (the place coordinator assigned me there; I didn't request it) and see students from an "adult" perspective.
You realize how highschool-y you were way back when, ha ha XD It's nice to see that even after 15+ experience of teaching, crap still happens. My high school math teacher (let's call her Ms.K) still teaches there, and when I was having a crisis last week on if I wanted to REALLY become a teacher, she reassured me.
She said, "At first, feeling scared like that is normal. And after 17 years of teaching, sh*t still happens!"
Sagojyou: "But, what keeps you going?"
Ms.K: "Sometimes I'm like 'am I really making a difference? What am I doing here?', but when I get ONE letter; all it takes is ONE letter, for all 50 bad things to go away."
And it hit me.
I have written to her at the end of my senior year with a drawing of her on it. I drew a comic and put it up in her room. I gave her a doodle of mine I was drawing in class.
And she STILL has them all. On her wall. After SEVEN years since being in her class.
Then I realized, that I did make a difference to her. I was ALSO that ONE that made a difference and kept her going.
HEART. INSPIRED. AGAIN.
Wow, the magic is still there. She made one week's worth of crisis disappear like THAT, in five minutes.
She totally reinspired me to keep going. HOW DO YOU DO THAT MS.K? HOW DO YOU?
Well, by next time this year, I'm going to be teacher, FOR REALZ. Scary? Yes. Gonna be tough? Probably yes (all teachers I interviewed said their first year was the hardest. But you gotta start somewhere, right?). Am I going to be inspirational like them?
I hope so.
My goal in this Master's program is "to make a difference to at least one person. If I do, then I know I'm doing something right".
I don't know if I can, but if I do, I'm pretty awesome.
And this whole thing turned into like this inspirational essay thing, but you know what, that's okay XD I'm a self-motivating person, and this outside influence helps me, so it's good to write this down.
Because for one of the projects, we had to write about our program experience so far, I did that in a comic style (and it took 4.5 hours to finish, at Starbucks). That will be uploaded at some point during a weekend because, well, my weekdays are for my 100 theme challenge XD
So 3 more days of being at a high school, then we go back to class (which I actually miss at this point XD), and next week, we go on a BIG class field trippppppppp
and I haven't gone on one since like, 8th grade ha ha haaaaa
Listening to: nada
Drinking: el agua